Enough is enough?

I dont know anymore. Its like I wanna let go but I keep thinking "What if" and its just driving me insane. I want you. I need you. But I cant bring myself to say I lo-ve you. I cant even think or write it down.

Am I ready to let my guard down again?

yeah, singapore was whtvr.

I am content.

I GOT HUGEASS JUSTIN BIEBER POSTER.
and a My Chemical Romance poster. (which is also a big thing but somehow isnt big enough compared to JB) :P <3

I shall post up a picture of the posters soon.
For now, I shall listen to JB and drown in his voice.
I am a happy girl.

Soon, I shall be happier.
With all the sale.
And maybe some time with you.
Its been too long.

Soon.
:)

I close my eyes,
and pray.

Beautiful people.

So I'm sure some of you out there are going "OHMYGOD, LILY?! WHERE THE FLYING FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Well, my laptop went psycho and it wont on. Now, I can only go online at night when my brothers not around. Cause I'm using his laptop. -____- So sad, I know. Can die.

Okay, malas to type more.
I miss you. Gila. Tahap babi. Blegh.

lies.

Anak babi

I dont know what you want from me anymore.
First, you were so nice to me like how we used to. Then, you said you appreciated her amount of love that she gave you. Like somehow, I dont give enough. Or maybe I dont show enough. So, when I gave you just one teeny link. You start going all defensive.

Yes, I understand. You dont know what to do now.
But what happened to thinking about finishing high school and magically meet me and do wonderful things that we wanted to happen? Why must you give up so easily?
Why is it SO easy for you to leave me and SO fucking difficult to leave her?!

Fuck la, seriously.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I DO deserve better. But you were my first love. I fell too hard for you. And that was my mistake. But I thought we could have been. We felt so right.
And now, my thoughts and feelings are stuck between letting you go and wait for you.
You mess me up.

Right now, death sounds real good.
Lucky for you, I have harry potter to look forward to later.
Maybe death comes tomorrow.

babi.

AND FUCK, I'M CRYING!
Fuck this. Seriously. :'/

So uh, yeah.

Sooo ... She followed me on tumblr which I thought was pretty unnecessary. But I followed her back anyways. Which was also pretty unnecessary too but what the heck.
I'm nice.

Most probably too nice.

ANOTHER ONE!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Another girl did a post about me! But this time, its a bitch!
lololololololololol >:P

I LOVE YOU, FARAH AINA BINTI JEFFRY!
we shall celebrate soon for my victory of not giving a fuck about that manwhore.
\m/

only girl in the world.

MEHEHEHEHEHEHE
Seriously, this boy is making me getting butterflies.
I'm pretty sure I smile without realizing it.

YTRZTEDXFCGVGHXF!
I'm so happy. :3

your girl.

I wonder who's he playing now like how he played us all.

that girl.

So, she wrote a post for me. And I have to say, it was pretty touching.

I am currently speechless. But somehow, I just have to say thank you to her. Its like, after reading what she wrote, I just felt like most of my feelings towards him just went away. And I dont mind that she's now with him. I just dont feel like she stole anything from me.
But she brought out the best of me.
My will to forgive and love.

So I thank you.
For bringing out an even more optimistic lily.

Maybe the rainbow isn't so far away after all.

When a door closes,
another opens.
All you have to do is embrace.

monday blues turned colourful.

you will not break me.

Gedik once again.

I think I like you.
HAHAHA, ohmygod. Sounds so familiar!

We've been friends for over a year now.
And I'm starting to grow on you.
Especially now.

I wanna tell you how I feel but I think its too early. I'll wait.
But heck it, even if you dont like me back, I dont think I'd really give a damn.
Youre already my bestfriend!

But if we were given the chance, will you be mine?
:)

hereitgoesagain.

A day well spent.

Went Gopeng, Perak at 7:30am with Dania and Adam tagging along. Didnt wanna take the bus so my whole family (minus abang, of course) sent us.
Went there for a river rafting. So effin fun k?! Dania keeps telling me that we should do another one just for Junior Boards and the EDC. I GEDDIT. We will okay? :)

Reached home by 7pm and had to get ready for dinner at kualalala lumpur with the cousins.
Left home at 7:30-ish. Ate seafood. And went karaoke til 12am.
So. Fucking. Tired.

Its 2am.
I'm tired. I miss you. And tired.
I deserve much better than you.
I deserve much better than you.
I deserve much better than you.
I deserve only you.
Blegh. You make me suck.

Time for me to get a fling.
And I think I know just the right person.
OHMYGOD NO. I WILL NOT USE ANYONE.
YOU, READING THIS, IF I EVER PLAY WITH ANYONE, PLEASE SLAP ME SO HARD, I PASS OUT!
Thank you. Okay. Kay. Phew.

" I told myself I won't miss you but I remembered what it feels like beside you. "
Hinder - Better than me.

*sigh.*

Someone,
help me.

habits die hard.

Now I'm back to my same old routine.

Where I cry every night.
Even when I had a fun day out.
Even when I just watched a funny movie.
Even when I felt so happy.

I guess its when I realize that there wont be any late night calls where I would talk about my fun day out.
About the funny movie.
About my happiness.

A friend says I should get over him. Sure.
Another says I should get a new boyfriend. Sure.
Just give me the manual book and I'll just shut down my feelings and follow the book.

Sometimes, pretense is all I do. Cause its so much easier to do then explain all these thoughts, feelings and tears. Sometimes, I just feel so suicidal.
This sucks.

You suck.

remember,
the morning of the 3rd of november.

It hurts for me to know.
1437.

Ohmygod.

I cant believe he remembers.
Even I forgot.
He remembers.
He. Remembers.

Ho shit.

This is love.

Is this not the prettiest thing youve ever seen?
And yes, I JUST BOUGHT THEEEEEMMMMM \m/
Its from Rockport. My new favourite shoe store!
My mom didnt want to buy them at first but the salesman said that its limited and there wont be any repeats so, TADAA!
Welcome home, baby.
:')

But my mom didnt miss out either.
She bought these babies.
Thank god we're both the same size so I could steal them whenever.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And the plus thing about it is:
ITS SO FREAKING COMFORTABLE!
Like you can ACTUALLY go shopping with it and not get tired.

Thank you, mommy.
I LOVE YOU :B

the happiest girl of the day,
lilyalyssa.

Just do it.

Halloween tomorrow.
I malas nak go to the party but someones gonna be there.
And I miss that someone.

I need to do some shopping.
<3

1still43,
lilyalyssa.

Now what?

AGAIN.
I f0und out something I did NOT want to find out.
I'm tired lah, for Gods sake!
First this, then that.
What next?

And it sucks so bad when I have no idea what to do.
It sucks gila-gila okay?
As long as I have someone to talk to about this, I'm fine.

I'm just so tired of convincing myself that everything would be fine soon. When Ive been convincing myself ever since we broke up.
I guess soon just isnt soon enough.

Its the freaking exam week and I'm crying my eyeballs out.
Wheepdeedoo.

you and I both,
loveD.

Saturday Butterflies

So yeah, I made a study plan.
Aaaaand it was a total PHAAAIIIILLLL!
Went to visit a cousin who was at the hospital. Dengue. :(
Then went to ou for dinner.
And now, I just got back.

SNIP BITS!
I was in the car otw to the Tropicana Hospital and I was reading some geo since I couldnt do it at home. And we stopped at a red light. A huge ass lorry was next to the car.
I got tired reading so I looked out the window, and the freaking lorry driver was STARING at me like literally and SMILED at me when I looked at him.
SWEAR TO GOD, PEDO GILA K?!
I returned to the geo textbook asap.
With eyes wide open and brain damaged.

And so, when I was at Seoul tadi for dinner.
I went up to get my favourite Mille Crepe Cake at Chocolate and when I passed by all the shops, my jaw dropped when I saw all the SALE signs at their windows.
And I cursed to myself since I left most of my money in my drawer at home.
Like the WHOLE shop was filled with the SALE sign.
I CANNOT WAIT TO BRING MY DAD OUT SOON.
(he's at Jakarta right now)

My brother came later to join us for dinner. And when I was about to go home with my mom and sister, my brother grabbed my hand as hard as possible and yanked me away with full force that I almost fell. We were walking towards the parking lot but then we decided to get some takoyaki.
And a monopoly game card. And we strolled around a pet store for a good half an hour and bought cat food. And walked a bit more. Bought some drinks. Then we went home.

I missed Erin's house warming tonight.
SO SORRRRYYYY :(
I datang jumpa you myself, since you live so near now!
She lives in a purple house now, NGEHE.
JUSTIN BIEBER FTW :D

A Satuday well-spent.
<3

whoever thought a day gone so wrong,
could turn out so lovely.
:)

Ay okay

So, I'm feeling better than I did last night and I think I'm so used to being upset, I guess I'm like, I dont know, immune to it now? Weeeell, that should be a good thing. :)

So, exams are in three days.
I have not made full preparations.
Hope I do soon. Maybe after I update this. And after I take a nap. And after I get something to eat.
OKAY, I NEED TO STUDY. -___-
So I shall. Since I'm not a failure. And will never be one.
I hope.

So many plans after exams. Just one week of hardcore studying, and I'll be fine. I'll be able to go out. I'll be able to do so many thingalingsss!
Then, stress again. PMR year. Whoopdy-fucking-doo.
Nevertheless, I shall enjoy a month plus and hope I dont be such a lifeless bugger at home, fingers crossed!


So wish me luck.
For exams.
For love.
For life.

youre missing out.
over and out.

Black and white lies

Every single fucking time I fucking feel fucking okay, something just has to fucking happen.
Now I feel so fucking upset.
You fucking lied to me.
You fucking broke your promise.
You broke my fucking heart...
Once again and without fail.

Well, people.
I guess that one particular rumor I heard about him is really true.
*sigh* *shrugs*

But dude, what's with your lies?
Youve hurt me bad, REAL bad during the breakup and you think I'm not having a hard time letting you go? You say you dont think youve moved on, then what are you doing to her?
Aren't you hurting her too? I'm just so dissapointed in you, yknow? I thought you'd knew better.
I just thought you were better.

But somehow, no matter what.
I will be there for you.

Yes, I'm stupid. Thengs.
But its true. And I stand my ground.

you feel like your able to live past the moment,
you can't move on.

Mellow Little Fellow

No worries, my lovely bugs.
I'm doing just fine.

I know everyone has their rough times.
And right now, I think I can see the rainbow.
No matter what, it will rain sometimes.
But for now,
I smile.

:)

ryanbandong,
ismine.

Stop it already.

I fucking hate you.
but I'm so in love with you.

Why did you send that to me? Why did you trigger my emotions again?

I'm sick la k? Sick of crying. Sick of getting so pissed. Sick of being confused.
I'm not that girl. I'm better.
But with you messing around with my head, I cant freaking move on.
I WANT TO MOVE ON.
but you just make it impossible.

And to make things worst, I keep replaying the video. I cant seem to close the window.
Its like its the closest thing I have to you right now.
Ugh, someone help me.

Right now, I'm just hoping for a brighter tomorrow.
I reserved a hug from my amoi (What would I do without you, Abigail). I couldnt really tell her what happened cause my mom started being pissy at me and paksa'd me to study. Which made me even more pissed.
Therefore, easily tearful.

Ugh. I dont know what to do anymore.

hangingon,
your alyssa.

Oh dearest Thursday

THANK YOU VERY THE MUCHO, AIDA SOFIA FOR THE DELICIOSO MUFFIN! :D
Sayang youuuuu.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So tadi, I walked home.
There was a green car ahead of me. The driver looked at me (he had his window down), winked and said
"Hey, I love you."
Then he drove off laughing with his bunch of friends. And I gave them the wtf face.
As he drove off, the rest of his friends just stared at me while laughing.
I swear to god, if I didnt have a book in my hand, I wouldve shown them the finger. But then again, they mightve done a U-turn and kidnaprape me. Sooo, yeaah.
Better pissed than raped? -__________________-'

douchebaggery,
lilyalyssa.

Think

I dont like it how I constantly get emo when I'm online. Its just that somehow thered be something out there that just upsets me.

I'm just so sad here.
But why am I so happy when I'm out and about?
Would you say I'm .. well .. A two-faced?

Or is it just me lacking oxygen in my room so I get a little teary eyed? -__-
Ugh.

Letting you go might be the best thing to do right now but I keep hurting myself by holding on to you. A dream.
I guess I really am a Silly Lily. :/


Thank you, my beloved retards for always making me smile everyday.
Abigail Lim Shu Yee.
Farah Aina Jeffry.
Ilie Arisha Ashraff.
Anis Yazmin Mohd Khairi.
Carmen Lau Jia Mei.
Alicia Ang Xia Yi.
What kind of mentally disordered child would I be without you guys?
I love you. :')

peace,
lilyalyssa.

10th October 2010

After a long time, I got the chance to see him again.
He smiled at me and I smiled back.
He asked me if I was doing okay and I nodded.
Then the words came out instantly out of me and I started saying :

"I miss you so much. Your texts, your smile, the way you say 'I love you.', I miss the way we were before... "

He hugged me tight and tells me that he feels the same way.
And then ...

I woke up.
:'/

*sigh.* I hate this.
Where's that shoulder I could cry on?

sunday,
alyssa.

The First Lady Summit

So get this.

I was invited last Thursday to read a pledge infront of all the first lady from around the world.
It was kinda weird cause why pick me lah kan?
So apparently, the organizer's organization doesnt have any malays in it. So, they want me.
-____________________-'

Then today, she called my mom to tell her that I wouldnt need to read the pledge anymore because they want only one person to read it. (Not being racist or anything) And I'm pretty sure that person is not a malay. What an ass.
But they still want me there to go up the stage and stand next to him/her. And I thought HELL NO. I'm not gonna be freaking accessory. I rather go to school la k?
Dahla the PM wants a malay, chinese and indian on the stage to read the pledge. Padan muka. Where's your malay now?
And you know, she (the organizer) told me that she hated the 1 Malaysia thing. And I was like "thaffark?!"

Ugh, whatever la k?
Politics isn't even my thing.
But it wouldve looked so good in my CV.
*sigh.*

I'll make it look good some other way,
lilyalyssa.

:)))))))

I like you.
Again.
But somehow, I dont wanna be yours.
Maybe just friends with benefits.
;)

I missssssssssssssss you.
HEHEHEHE, I want you to sweep me off of my feeeeeeet!
I just wanna be near youuuuuu.
And peng youuuu, I know you do too!
*keningkening*

GRENADETOWEREPICDANIELPIEVAMPIRE!
<3 :)

lilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssalilyalyssa

AND OH to the MY to the GOOOD,

HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY TO MY DEAREST
ANIS YAZMIN AND AMMAR HARITH.

Holy geez Louise! Its been a freaking year ALREADY?! AHHHH :3

Hikhik, if you dont mind I stole this picture, Anis!

Hope the both of you would last longer and longer and longer and longer! I love the both of you very, very muchoo. Like ohmygod, I am feeling so happy right now.
HEHEHEHEHEHE.

So jeles lah of them two <3 :')

Life. How mysterious.
How beautiful.
:)

Difference

I was reminiscing with my sister and mama yesterday night. And we laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then I came across an album.

My 6th Birthday Party.

I went through and I saw this boy.
This boy who was my bestest friend in the whole wide world at that time.
He lived at the same row as I did.
He always came over to my place and we'd just play and talk and have so much fun.
Then he just stopped coming.
He moved.
And he didnt say goodbye.

Where the fuck are you?
I dont even remember your name.
Why did we just suddenly lose all contact?

But I'll find you.
I hope you still remember me, douche.
Cause dude, I had a tiny crush on you! HAHAHAHAHA.
You were so cute lah.

I miss you.
<3 :)

lilyalyssmiorazri

How the lion loved the lamb

Farah got blog.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

www.sepeteyesarecute.blogspot.com.
Go and love <3

Rumour.

Soo ..
Wendy told me you ... got someone new now?
*chuckles.*

Funny.
You told me yourself that you wouldn't be in a relationship for a long time.
Guess a month is a "long time" for you?

I honestly wish it isn't true. I mean, I won't be jealous if you are. Spread the love right? Hahahahahahahha. (dah gila -__-)
How are you anyways? I kinda miss talking to you.
Just wanting to know how you're doing right now.
That's all.

See you soon. I hope?
:)

beingcalmthroughitall,
thatsmebitch.

Bruno Mars. >:(

He made me cryyyyy. D':
I listened to a song from him:
Starting Today.

I hate it how a song is something that you want to happen SO BADLY. And when he sang, I just fell again.


We had a date, I stood you up
You tried to call but I didn't pick up
See I forgot about our plans..
Please forgive your man for ruining your night so many times

I'm sorry, I know you're mad
And I don't wanna be like every other man that you've had
So I'm stopping all these childish things, girl, you mean too much to me
Your love is worth too much to lose

Girl, I know I broke your heart and trusting me is really hard
But watch how quick I change my ways.. starting today, starting today
I know that I'm the one to blame, you say every man's the same
But watch how quick I change my ways.. starting today, starting today
Girl, I'm starting today..

You're tired of playing the kiss and make up game
And I apologize for the man I became
If I could do it all again, I wouldn't hurt my best friend
And I'd throw away all my selfish ways

I'm sorry, I know you're mad
And I don't wanna be like every other man that you've had
So I'm stopping all these childish things, girl, you mean too much to me
Your love is worth too much to lose

Girl, I know I broke your heart and trusting me is really hard
But watch how quick I change my ways.. starting today, starting today
I know that I'm the one to blame, you say every man's the same
But watch how quick I change my ways.. starting today, starting today
Girl, I'm starting today..

Girl, I know I broke your heart and trusting me is really hard
But watch how quick I change my ways.. starting today, starting today
I know that I'm the one to blame, you say every man's the same
But watch how quick I change my ways.. starting today, starting today
Girl, I'm starting today..


Can die.

dies,
lily.

Ba ba daa.

Raya fever! Oooh, SO HOT!
Kuala Lumpur - Johor - Kuala Lumpur - Ipoh - Kuala Lumpur - Melaka - Kuala Lumpur.

Okay, Now I'm at the fifth phase. So tomorrow, I'd be on my way to Melaka for two days. Then thats it for travelling! I hope. Maybe not. So fun laaah! HEHEHEHEHE.
I shall post up a few pictures here and there when I have the time.
I got home at around 11:30pm today and tomorrow I have to be at Melaka by 10am. I feel so cool tau tak? Like oooh, I'm so importaaaant and I have to be everywheeeeere!
:B

AND HOMAIGOD. I HAVE A UKULELE NOWWWW. AND ITS IN YELLOWWWW!
Ohmygod. *droools* So comel k? Bought it at Ipoh. It was fate. FATE. DESTINYYY! Hikhik.

I love these days when everything is so perfect!
<3 :D

iheartyouonliiine,
rockyandballs.

A twinkle in the eye

To simplify my day:

Woke up.
A date with the laptop.
Showered.
Met Daniel.
Went to Farahs.
Went to McD.
Spent time with Daniel, Ikhwan and Vee.
And here I am again, a date with the laptop.
:)

It felt good seeing him again. It felt weird feeling him touch me. Even the slight brush on the arm. I kinda avoided any contact with him. Maybe it was too soon for me. But I sure don't mind it. :)

I noticed that he grew taller! And when he hugged me, I kinda told myself "Lily, that shoulder isn't right for you anymore. You need to move on." And I think I saw him in a different light after that. It was still under the Love Light but its slowly moving towards the Bestfriend Zone. I still feel butterflies when I saw you in that grey t-shirt but I think I'm almost over you.

But whatever state that I'm in right now, I can't wait to see you again.

<3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3

Nathalie tipu saya worrrrr. :'(

She wrote on her Facebook status :
Wow, you can totally type your facebook password into a comment and it comes up as stars! **********! Omg, so coooool!

And me, being really gullible, believed her. So, I typed out my password. AND IT DID NOT HAPPEEEEN. I freaked. Deleted. And got laughed at. *sigh* So heartbreaking k? :'(

So heartbreaking CAN DIE.
Ish.

Icantkeeplovingyou,
lily :)

Um, hi.

I miss you.

So, can I see you soon?
Please? :/

Exhaustion.

From the 27th to the 29th of August, I was at an Eco Ramadhan Camp with the Yawa-ians. As a Junior Board, I was practically running around making sure everythings in place and ensuring the participants weren't doing anything stupid.

The whole camp was super fun and was a success. There were a few cute guys there. But some were just plain irritating. Uncle Adly complimented me. Hikhik.

Theres gonna be a buka puasa at the YAWA office this thursday as a JB appreciation since we did a really good job. *pats self on the back*

Can't wait to go to more camps.
:)

How you doing out there? :)

Its been quite some time since Ive done an un-emo post. And people has been complaining. *coughaidatijancough*
So here it is.
:)

I GOT A NEW CAMERA, MOTHERFUCKAAAAH!

:B

Okay so.
As you all now, I AM OKAY NOW.
I am completely fine now, being single and available.
Cause dude, seriously.
Its LILY. When am I not not okay?

Lily Alyssa is loving life the way she always had.
Lily Alyssa is living. And enjoying.

Lily Alyssa is still as amazing as ever.
God, I'm awesome.
*flips hair*
;)

gitchigitchigoo,
meansthatIloveyou!

Check 1, 2, 3

I have made up my mind.

I will continue to think about you. I will continue to smile about our past. And I will continue to love you.
But I will move on without you as mine.
I will be me again without this heartache.
Maybe I'd cry once a while but I know every tear I shed would just make me stronger.
You have made me stronger.

From this I learnt:
"Love and relationships are never like the movies no matter how much we want them to be. But when something beautiful ends, for whatever reason, it's most important not to be disappointed that it's over, but glad that it happened at all."

And here comes a brand new Lily with a brighter smile.
:)

remember,
1437rectum.

Sorry, But I have to land you readers with another emo post. :'/

Just when I thought I was kinda over you, I just had to think about you.
I just had to think about us.
I just had to think.
Why am I so stupid?

Now you're stuck in my mind. Dont get me wrong, I like you there. But I'm sick of feeling this heartbreak. All I want to do is just stop. I want to move on. But its taking so damn long. Why? Why am I in so much pain?

I miss you so much.

Why am I loving you so much? How did I fall this hard? I dont remember crying this hard after a breakup. Then why now?

I'm just so tired of convincing myself that its gonna be okay.
I'm so tired of smiling when I just dont feel like it.
But I guess I just dont mind.

But do I ever cross your mind? Cause your on mine all the time.
I cant believe how unfair life is sometimes.
But I'll find a way to close the door and be okay.
I dont want to but I have to realize:
This is goodbye.

If only I could forget our goodbye.

I'llsuckitupandbestrong.

And may God bless

SELAMAT BERPUASA.

The time for me to clean myself. Knowing how dirty I'd get.
Hehe,

hellowoman,
hesaid.

Make it stop,

I guess not.
I'm scarred for life.

I'm not over

Guess what?
I dreamt about you last night.
Last night after I cried myself to sleep.

<3 style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">"Where is he?" and when I looked out the window, there you were. Smiling and waving at me. I grin from ear to ear. "There you are." I got down the bus and hugged you so tight. Leaning my head on your shoulder, just the way I like it. We got on the bus again. Off again we went.
I turned my back to you for just a second and you were gone in a second. I panicked. Then I saw you sitting on a seat. You were laughing. Laughing with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen next to you. It doesnt matter. I gave you space. I never wanna be a burden to you. I like seeing the way you laugh. I like seeing you happy.
I blinked.
And you and her were gone. "Where'd you go?" More like where'd everyone go? The bus was completely haunted.
I went out. I called out after you.
I couldn't find you.
I ran. And ran. And ran.
Then there you were.
You were on your knees. Tears streaming down. I could see your fingers tremble. Hair in a mess.
"I've never been the right one for you. I never was."
And just like that, you faded. Without giving me a chance to tell you otherwise.

Goodbye.

With love,

lily alyssa.

I'm scared to my bones

Dear sayang,

It's going to be very difficult letting you go. I've never shivered in fear before and sayang, I'm scared and I dont know who to turn to. I've never felt this scared and fragile ever in my life. I've never felt my lips quiver so much while I sob. I've never seen my fingers shaking so fast. I've never cried this much. Ever.

But the things you say about you not having time for me, about you hurting me, about us being together at the wrong time, thats all crazy. I know it. But sayang, why must you even THINK that way? Let alone be so sure about it?

After our short 4 months together, I've spent my time with you filled with joy, love and passion. You really are one of a kind.

But I can never change your mind.
If I had the power to just make you think a little bit more positive or the ability to fly so I'd come flying everyday, I'd do just that. But I dont.

Maybe if I needed you more. Maybe if I was a bit more needy. Maybe if I called you more. Maybe if I texted you more. Maybe if I did something different along the way, things would be different now and we could still be. But we're not.
And sayang, I've never felt this afraid.

I dont care that you dont get to see me everyday. I cherish every single second I'm with you. And that makes our time together so much more special. I shouldve told you that. I shouldve told you how much I enjoy our time together. I should have. But I didnt.

I dont care we dont get to communicate that often. I understand. You need to study. And I need to do mine. Like I told you, sayang, we both lead two different lives. But I just love the way our lives just clash in between while we're breathing.

I'm going to miss the way you hold my hand. How your shoulder is just the right height for my head to lean on. When you wear that cologne I love to sniff so much (you know how much I love the smell, sayang). Your stupid jokes. Your laugh. Your smile. Your eyes. Your lips...
Ohmygod, just thinking about you makes me crazy. And just imagine how my heart leaps when you're near. Just imagine that.
But what I'm going to miss the most is how you make me feel so safe. Call me cliche or whatever, but I really do.

Funny.
This life.
When things are going great, when you're so in love, when you're high up, life just punches you back to earth.
Life just hurts you.

But maybe thats why I met you, sayang. To actually know and feel love. To be in love. To be loved. To be so high up in the sky.
We had so many plans, kan sayang? Haha. The things we'd do. The places we'd go.
Memories do have a kick.
It tingles in the stomach, tears in the eyes, curl at the lips.

:')
1437. 7.
You'll always be my Edward, my rectum, my retard, my asshole, the girl in the relationship and the first to make me fall so hard. And thats no joke.

Sayang, .. Daniel, I'm glad you were a huge role in my fairytale. You taught me how to love, cherish, laugh and trust. I'm just upset you weren't the prince charming, I guess.

You never did left my mind. And I think I'd like it if you'd stay there.
When I'm ready, I'll come see you as a friend.
I promise I wont change much.
But boy, you changed me. To a better me.
And for that, I thank you.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for making me feel safe. Thank you for making me laugh and forget the bad. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for being in my life.

But can I be a little selfish and ask for you to just say those three little words with eight letters to me one more time?

I love you

what a way to do my 100th post huh?,
alyssa.

I love the way you lie

Test is in two weeks. And I have not touched a single book.
I. Am. Screwed.
I just can't seem to study. But I need to. *sigh*
Guess its time to toughen myself up, pick up a book and understand every single shit in it.
God, I fucking hate exams. They pollute the environment and they mess up my head.
Yeah, thanks a lot.

I am cheer crazy. I need to do some cheerleading. PRONTO.

I miss my retard. I only get to see him once a week and we get to hangout for four hours maximum. I usually thought that long-distance relationship would never work but hey, I guess it does! Lol, look at me. So gila dah.

"I don't wanna hold your hands anymore."
"What? Why?"
"I only wanna hold your heart now."
*grins like a moron*

hugs,
lily.

Let me say a little prayer

I feel so neglected. And ignored. I am emotional. I am ugly. I am nothing. But could someone just convince me its okay and fake me a smile?

Excuse my ridiculous post.

I guess, I just need some loving.

lily.

Say hello to nice little Lily Alyssa.

I have no words for these pass few weeks. Everything is moving so fast, I cant keep track of anything. I feel so self-centered so I shall dedicate this blog to everyone who I sayang mucho muchoo. :)

Thank god, I have lovable family members.
Pops, Mums, Abang and Kakak. You never fail to make my life at home a little bit more entertaining.

My amazing, annoying friends who I simply love to hang out with.
Abigail, you slut, I love how ridiculously retarded you are. Your randomness never fail to amuse me. You'll always be my soulmate. Next year shall mark our 10th year of being bestfriends. Lets make it til our 50th year, amoi.
Farah, you bitch, I love annoying your guts out. I hope you punch me in the face one day out of jealousy of my cuteness. May our friendship break sooner or later.
Dewi, you whore, I want more food from you. When you starting as my maid? I'm still waiting.
Chubby, you cunt. When are you kissing my ass?
Chung & Chin, you two chinese fucks. Jom makan babi.
Carmen, you dicky, your gossips are always up-to-date!
Ilie, you Bieber addict, lets go trash his place and get his undies. And sell em and get loads of dollahs!
Anis, you're so quite in class, I cant believe its you out of it. You're such a weirdo. But funny.
Xia Yi. Seriously. Talk more.
Eugene, my almost lover, I know you secretly want me but too bad I'm taken. One day, I shall be yours. One day.
Weng Fong, you fatso, your chinese-ness makes you so adorable. JK, you're one ugly fuck.
Jason, my hug pole, I know you need my hugs to live. I'm just so addictive.
Farieda and Pei Ern, you've got to be my closest friends all time. I love it how we rarely meet but we're so close.

and

Daniel, you rectum, you're so weird. But I'm weirder. Or maybe vice versa. Hm, maybe thats why I like you. :)

Hope all of you live long. And maybe, just maybe, I could be with you alongside?
I love you. Even those who weren't mentioned.

I'm so in love,
Lily.

My very own. :)

Today was such a nice day.

Did something I simply love. CHEER. Epicly fun lah. With the midget jokes and nicole's hand that is just so fucking funny to me. This is truly bonding moment for us all <3 :) Went to Nab's place at 6 to shower and freshen up. By 6:30, I was already out of the house and on my way to meet my retard. We walked to the club for a nice, simple date. :) We just talked and talked and laughed and laughed. We started walking to my tuition. But since it was still early, we just sat. And talked more about anything and everything. We got so caught up into each other, I was late to my tuition. A good half an hour late. It was nice having time to ourselves. I've just been too busy with cheer. Thanks for having so much patience. I know how much you hate cheer now. HIHI :]

I find myself weird
and you said I'm weird? I must be really weird then.
:) you're weird to have an attraction on me.
if so, I like being weird.
stay the way you are then.
I never intended to change.

retard
liloy

fuckinglovesickfeelingmakesme,
PUKE.

Cheer Competition 2010

Okay, HOLY SHIT. Cheer comp is in two weeks. HOLY SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

Falcons routine is simply amazing. No joke.

I simply cannot wait for cheer comp.

We're gonna blow peoples mind.

I fucking love cheerleading.

GO FALCONS! <3 :B

Btw if you want a supporter tee, text me. I can get you one ;)

HOOPLAH,
liloy.

Ujian Bahasa Melayu. Bahagian D : Ringkasan.

I CAN JUST FEEL THE HOLIDAYS AT THE TIP OF MY FINGERS!
i'm so fucking jizzed for holidays.
plans are made. people to meet. places to go.
holy shit, tak sabar weyyyy!

but honestly, two weeks? is that even enough?
ah yes, KAMU. YA, KAMU YANG SEDANG MEMBACA.
jom lepak? ;)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday was *thumbs up*

went dpc at eight thirty for cheer.
JEYHING IS AMAZING, I TELL YOU. she's like 'woah, asal ah hebat sangat?'
sweated like pigs. i like pigs. i like sweats.

went ou at one.
there was C3 so, i watched for a bit. took videos. ran off.
theeen, these four guys started stalking me, nab and joislin. HAHA, so retarded la wey! but they lost track of us when we went up the escalator.
but when we were on the escalator, this cute boy was like being super cute so i snapped a picture with joislin going all "SMILEE!" to the cute guy. He somehow looks like Justin Bieber too. (Y)
btw i shall post up a picture of him later, promise!
bought some food at A&W since joislin was just super hungry. she was hungry the whole day -__- aneways, met up with the boyfriend at the arcade and killed some zombies after that. fucking zombies *continues to curse zombies*
nab and joislin went some place else. and i went sushi king at old wing with the boyfriend to meet up with his friends. but when we got theeere, he got a text from his friend saying to meet them at burger king which was at new wing. he was like fuck it. lets eat here at sushi king.
after eating a bit, joislin and nab came. telling me to teman them go pierce their ears. joislin wanted to pierce but decided not to at the end.
so we walked around. went back to C3. met a few people there. went down to the Gardens to meet up with nab's mom. said goodbye to daniel. and went home.
joislin was hyped up about meeting James at my place since he couldnt go to ou. bising doh makcik tu.

home, shweet, home at five thirty.
basicly, jamesy and seb came over. i forced jamesy to sit next to joislin while i entertain my other guest. sebastion is actually pretty okay. a bit retarded but i guess everyone is. except me, of course. HAHAHAHA, what a lie :p anewho, they stayed til seven and joislin had to go already. so we all hugged goodbye while joislin got a little bit more :)
took a shower. rested. heard some bad news. no dinner for i had no mood.
was upset the whole night. thanks for totally killing the day.

three in the morning.
guess who came over and spent the remaining night with me? :)
thanks for making me feel safe. i love you, rectum.

that should sum it up!

-------------------------------------------------------------

going to watch Shrek Forever After at six later.
<3

uh, kay. so.
BYE!

Markah:
0/100

wow -___-

:s

dude, it sucks to be her right now.
like seriously.



*cough*



her, being someone else. not me.
cause i'm loving my life right now.
HAHAHAHAHHAHA-yeah.
god, i sound lifeless.
k bye.

thatwasasuckypost,
iknow.

yummy, apocalyptica

"mm, yummy finnish men" - Liloy

i had my first EDC (eco drum circle) performance with my retarded YAWA friends tadi at ikano.
wooh. it was good but we couldve been better.
another performance coming up soon!
SANGAT TIDAK SABAR <3 :D

went karaoke-ing after the performance at redbox.
my family usually goes karaoke-ing at KTV or something at KL but since we wanted to celebrate Aisyah's (a close cousin) birthday and it was really last minute, we just went to red box at Curve.
BANYAK GILA KOREAN SONGS WEY! me and my sister went CRAZY! our mini concert in the room. and the english bands are like all WOAAAH! the ones at KTV sucks shit.
i am so going red box more often now -.-'
EE, I FEEL LAME.
stab me now.

found and sang Apocalyptica feat Ville Valo and Lauri Ylonen - Bittersweet.
rindu gila wey. MY FINNISH SEX TOYS :D
yummy!

-----------------------------------

i am officially having a FLU! yay.
i started sneezing in the afternoon. and now its just unstoppable. HAHAHAHA, makes me hiiiiiiigh :}) ( '}' is my eyebags! )

-----------------------------------

god, i love watching Apocalyptica's concerts. THEY ARE JUST SO PANAS.
my new fetish *keningkening*

kayh, i go now.
CIUMAN DAN PELUKAN!

melayuhevattemah,
betulbetul!

its so easy to fall

happy one month.
thanks for the memories and for more to come.
soon, we'll be immortal!
bwahahahhhahhhaa.

i love you, daniel choo ... kok weng *muffles laughter*
you cool, i'm cool, we cool.
the world loves us. animals loves us. the universe loves us. unicorns are real.
i'm not making any sense. pfft, WHO NEEDS SENSE?
HAHAHAHAHahahahaa-okay. -.-

last thing, you're retarded la sayang.
(psh, its not like you read my blog but whatever)

I AIN'T GONNA BE ALL MUSHY LOVEY DOVEY HERE.
that is confidential fer choo himself.

1437
whats that?
check your text.
*I love you always* :')

choo
liloy

hm. the first night on the phone with you. the night i fell for you. the night my life changed.
143 :)

MAUGADUHKE?
lily'scool.

late april fools?

okay, i feel like a complete moron right now -.-'
i just got pranked by my mom and my sister.
if you've read my past post about the headless cockroach, mhm. yeah, that was a prank from both of my lovely mom and sister.
-_______________________________________-'

i was at the make-up room downstairs to get myself a towel to dry my hair off since i dont like hairdrying. and i was about to grab a towel when i realised it was the towel my mom used to pull out the 'cockroach' from my hair. so i asked her;

ma, did you throw away that cockroach?
what cockroach?
the one you pulled from my hair the other day.
HAHHAA, it was nothing la.
... so did you throw it away?
it was NOTHING! i lastik-ed you.
.... *not believing mom*
*stares at me* betuuuul. *laughs*
ohmygod. ma, you're so childish -__-'

liloy
mom

----------------------------------------------------

netball MSSD yesterday was amazing! it was soo sangat the very amat fun. although we lost three matches, we cheered as if we won. the referee thought i was fun to watch since i was just so hyper. *keningkening* eventhough we lost three matches, we won the last one! HAHAHA, it was probably cause we all had lunch.

one thing i hate most was the court. i was expecting our type of court, ya know? the cement one. buuut apparently not. dahla it rained in the morning, which made the padang worst :( it was freaking muddy and i was wearing new shoes. what luck.

----------------------------------------------------

didnt go to school today because i was 'tired' from yesterday. *giggles*

----------------------------------------------------

ohmygod, i'm so fucking lame.

kbye,
liloy.

i fall asleep when the girls begin to speak of all the calories they eat

yesterday, i went to a Louis Vuitton boutique at Starhill to check out the originality and YAY, it is originaaal :D i loike *keningkening*

----------------------

had my final netball training tadi. sweated like a pig. as usual. tmrah's MSSD. SANGAT TIDAK SABAR KAY? :D

----------------------

i love you, rectum :B

iamsucha,
boringperson.

fer sure bomb!

get ready to be exploded.

i was innocently walking in ikano and innocently entered a shop. this shop sells bags. either original or fake. i entered and i saw the most purtiest bag. thing is, its original. my hand ached. my heart raced. my head scrambled. all in sight was that bag.

this bag.

its called Judy MM.
best thing about this bag is ..

ITS MINE NOW!

ngehehehe.
yup, this louis vuitton is now in my arms at home.

BOOOM!
you just exploded, baby ;)

tonight i may be going to a Louis Vuitton store to confirm its originality. but i'm pretty sure it is cause the lady from the shop said "I'd give you back all the money if this isn't original!" she won't say that if it wasn't now ey?

thats all fer now.
XOXO

callme,
judy

i'm a roach killer

i'm gonna blab about anything, and i mean ANYTHING, interesting that happened to me starting from today.
because i is lifeless.

---------------------

interesting fact 1:
i woke up at eight today.
*keningkening* this is how you be a girl weyyy! :D

ah yes, and since a certain someone keeps calling me manly, i'm gonna list out ALL the feminine things i do. i'm gonna prove it to him yo. BWAHAHAHA.

---------------------

OOH! i is going to play netball this tuesday. MSSD wey *keningkening* HAHAHAHA, i hate that game -.- but after three sessions of training, i guess it is quite fun. but tiring as fuck. ugh. i should give myself a pat on the back, i feel like i've improved :B
my jerseys number 13 btw. ain't that cool? and its in red. ain't that cool-er? and its adidas. ain't that cool-est? ;)

---------------------

ohmyfuuuuckkkk! okay, this seriously happened like a minute ago. LITERALLY. NOtT LYING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

okayokay. *breathes for oxygen* i'm still panicking here kay. phew. okay.
*clears throat* i was happily listening to medic droid and blogging when i suddenly felt something falling onto my head. first thought, SHIT! LIZARD! *SQUEEELLSSS* i tried to get it out of my hair like a maniac and went to my sister and mom who was sitting on the same couch in front of me.
they were like "WTF LILY?" cause i was shrieking and pulling and tugging on my hair trying to get the lizard out. when they saw, they went all "EEEE EEEE EEEEEEE!" i shoved my head at them but my sister kept kicking me away. both of them were like screaming on top of their lungs and i was trying to get them to fucking help me! i was screaming "GET IT OUT OF MY FREAKING HAIRRRR! EEEE!" and my mom saw a towel on the floor and screamed at me to get the towel so i handed it to her. in a panicked manner of course.
then she yanked it out of my hair and i kept asking "DID YOU GET IT OUT? DID YOU GET IT OUT?" probably 50 million times. until i was really sure it was out.
so we all calmed down and we were breathless and giggling at how panicked we were.
and here's the convo that made me shriek and cry.

hahha, was that a lizard?
no.
ha?
it was a cockroach.
.... *stares at mom with the dont-lie-to-me face*
and it was headless.
*SHRIEKS* OHMYGOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD! *CRIES*

liloy
mom

fucking cockroach. GO FALL ON SOMEONE ELSE'S HEAD! :'(
now. i shall go shower. and vigorously wash my hair.
UGH

fuckingcockroachfuckingcockroach,
roachkiller >:/

my bitches are to die for!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAREY KHOO PEI ERN!
i fucking love you, bitch.
i know you like long posts but i aint gonna do that since i is lazy to type. NGEHEHEHE :B
i love you banyak-banyak and you know it ;)
xoxo.

NOW I SHALL FEED YOU WITH PICTURES OF CAMWHORES!
:D

i had a blast with the two of you just now.
lets last forever.
i love you two. now and forever.
:')

lifeisnothingwithoutfriends,
liloy.

stuck in the moment, baby.

We can make the sun shine in the moonlight
We can make the gray clouds into blue skies
I know its hard
But baby believe me
That we can go

Nowhere but up
From here
My dear
Baby we can go nowhere but up
Tell me what we've got to fear
We can take it to the sky past the moon through the galaxy
As long as you're with me
Honestly with the strength of our love
We can go nowhere but up

Justin Bieber - Up

i am so hooked on justin bieber these days. i tho want his new cd. TOP OF THE MUST BUY LIST K? i'm not in love with justin bieber but his songs are just tersangat amat comel. just makes you go *siiiiigh* *smiles*

well, life has been going good so far. i like it this way. simple. easy. minus all the homeworks la. other than that, its going all gooood :)

i laiiiik you *scary stare*

buhbye now,
liloy.

i feel so lifeless.
and my headaches comes and goes.

dude, i miss you.

this simple

i cant believe i can be this happy when i'm with you.
this ecstatic. this giddy. this nervous. this tongue-tied.

i love you, retard.
:)

boys *rolls eyes*

face it, i aint forgiving you.

ohmygah! kitty's coming home todayyyy. YAAAAAY :D ah shiatsu, i dont think i have time to hang out with him. bodoh -.-

farah's sleeping over tonight. minah tu sebok je ;p

SOMEBODY STOP MEH,
i'm a boogeyman.

kisses,
liloy.

gangster shit

comel sial erin. serious shit comel. comel cam taik melimpah mcm ade diarrhea.

"Lily, dia hebat. Gua tabik lu. Dia retard, no offense but still, dia awesome. Siapa yang tak kenal dia, maybe rasa macam "Dia ni apahal weh? Sakit do, aku sumbat kaki kang"

Tapi kalau dah kenal " Oh my God, lily is damn funny la "
Heh, hebat kan? Takpe. Fafa, aku suka bowling. Hahaha. Lily dah hantuk kepala kot. Seriously funny. Drop dead funny."

i love you, hunny bun! ngeheh.

went to erin's place today :) main reason: the fckn electric guitar is meant to be played be ME. but didnt get to play it cause the brother was there. stuuupid.

malas la nak type.
bye

nak gadoh?
lily.

Do not read if you are faint-hearted.

Meet Jeffree Star.

he is so sexy.
yes, HE ;)

these are some of my favourite lyrics from a few of his amazing songs :)

Fuck me, I'm a celebrity
Can't take your eyes off me
I make you fuck me just to get somewhere
Fuck me, I'm a celebrity
Can't take your hands off me
I know you wanna suck me
Whachu waiting for?
-Lollipop Luxury.
-----------------------------------------------------
I want...
Pants dropping, slow fucking, floor mopping..
Right now.
Enter my construction zone
Make me moan
Danger prone
It doesn't feel right
So keep going down
It doesn't feel right
Until you start to drown

I wanna S your D // I wanna L your V
- Ice Cream.
-----------------------------------------------------
Burn baby, burn burn...
You make me hot HOT!

I know you want me, I want you too
You're feelin' frisky, I'm feelin' you
You feel me up, I'm goin' down
You can fuck me til the sun comes up
- Love Rhymes with Fuck You.
-----------------------------------------------------
If you can treat me right... I can show you the way...
I'll let you play with me.

Cover me in blush, I'm a sugar rush
So sinful with my stare, like a millionaire
Cover me in cream, handle me with care
I'm in your every dream, so love me if you dare
-Blush.
-----------------------------------------------------

ain't he a sex beast?
:D

with love,
lily.

nobody knows that we love each other like this

WHATZUPPPP?

watched gossip girl season 3 eps 14. FINALLY. sangat sangat yang teramat best! cant wait fer the next episode :B

yunus texted me yesterday night. zomygosh. i miss that teddy bear! insyaallah, i'll meet up with him by next week. his hugs are TO DIE FOR!

went to desa park with vamps to get secret recipe's chocolate indulgence. then i saw budakhotfromschool. i caught you staring at me *winks* BLUSHING LIKE CRAP KAY? but was he with his girlfriend? *into stalking mode* *evil grin*

i wanna go to a dance class. BADLY.

ah, exam's are over. congrates to hannah fer getting those straight A's. hoho, pressure fer abigail. its her turn now to get straight A's in SPM :p

next week is like duh, the holiday week. where shall i goo? anyone up fer a day with Lily? :D

We greet each other awkwardly in front of people
But when we turn away, I’m the one who knows you best.

with love,
lily<3

See you soon,

towards the boyfriend who's off to ostrolia fer 8 days, enjoy ;)
XOXO

hahah,
lileyh.

finally

ah, i finally found the time to blog :)
first of, HAPPY BOIRTHDAY CARMEN LAU AND SHERYL BONG :)

i just had my sports day today. it wasnt much fun as last year's but falcons cheer was awethumb kay? veeeli proud of myself. all the stunts went up and smiles were to the max! saga oobviously won this year but whataheck, i'm still proud to be a cemarian. next year PREPARE LA SAGA! you going down, biatches! bwahaha.

i noticed that most good-looking guys are non-malays. WHY LA? if there were good-looking malays, they'd be big time playboys. gah, its time fer me to brush up on my mandarin -_____-'

next week is ze test week. i am preparing a speech fer my parents on 'Why I Failed My Exam'. and at the same time, the ex-form fives are gonna get their result on thursday next week :D ngohoho. good luck, good luck!

SUPAH JUNIOR CONCERT IS COMINGGGGGG :D hoemgee, zoemgee, mygod, golly, gosh, omg, OHMYGAAHHHH. cannot wait seriouslyyy. playcards are still not done cause i have no idea what ze eff to write! excited gila weyyyy. kaykay, gedik la pulak.

to my phone, i'm sorry i sat on you and broke yer face but why must you be angry and delete all my songs, videos and picture? but its okay, i'll bring you to a medical centre and fix yer face and re-transfer my songs, videos and photos that i lost. because i love you. a lot :)
you stupid asshole thats a so-called-PHONE! dont make me mess up yer WHOLE fucking face, bitch! i was about to fix you but why must be a fucktard and delete EVERYTHING? i'll just throw you out, whore! i can get yer replacement! I HATE YOU, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! A LOT D:<

i think i typed everything i wanted to so, my job here is done.

i love cats.

kissesandloadsofhugs,
smellylily.

Made Simple

Went to damansara yesterday to renew ze siblings passport. Kakak did her's. Did mine and abangs at Putrajaya due to some reasons. Spent a whole friggin day there :/ line gila babi panjang. And i had to cancel my date with me love because i HAD to renew my passport. Gah.

Today kakak and I went out at 7:30 to damansara to pickup her passport. Later went to Dad's office. Picked him up. Went to Putrajaya. Picked up my passport. Abang is gonna pick up his later by himself. Dropped off Dad at his office. Kakak and I went to One Utama. I met up with my friends and she went to buy her stuffs. Had fun til 4 cause Ilie and Farah had to go and they're my transport. Ain't typing out what we did due to lazyness. Ngeh.

and few days back, i had conversations with my past friends. loads of catching up and hours on the phone. one of these days, i promise to meet up with each and every one of you <3

i'm going jogging and swimming with farah aina tmrw. sleepover tmrw, betch. saya tidak sabaarrr :B

and oh, on the first two paragraph i was attempting to do a different writing style. capslock after a fullstop. but neh, gila not my style :)

PUNCH LALA ONE, ABIGAIL :D

love unfolds,
lily :)

betch.

HAHAHAHA. bodoh punya perempuan. you think i dont know yer talking about me is it? do you think i'm THAT stupid?
if you hate me, say it in my face. or are you waiting fer me to go to you and bitch in yer face? i dont want to hurt yer tiny little insecure heart. thats the last thing i want to do. but please, if you have a friggin problem with me, tell lah. no need to be a friggin pussy that you already are.
and when i hear those stories you tell your 'friends', i can actually laugh my ass off. you say your GLAD i'm not in your life anymore? um hello, i have NEVER been in your life before. unless you dream about me hanging out with you in the canteen and making jokes with you. wow -.-
oh how much i want to type out your name but it'll just ruin my blog. so why not just call you Betch, ey?

ugh, pening kepale la blogging about this bitch.

xoxo,
yourworstenemy.

:')

i wanna be that one less lonely girl.

i apologize.

i just finished reading Jamesy's blog and felt a rush of regret.
so, yes.

Dear James,
i was rlly upset about what Bastard did to Jaslin and seeing you, who reminds me of Bastard cause yer his bestfriend, made me pissed.
and thats why i slammed the door at yer face. I MEANT NO HARM. at that very moment, i just wanted to smack the face out of Bastard, stab him multiple times and let him bleed to death to make him feel how much he has hurt my Jaslin.
seriously, i AM sorry.
but if yer still gonna pretend to not be pissed at me when you still are, i dont care. take yer time.

i am still here if you want our friendship to grow again.
honestly, i miss you.

Love,
lily.

I'm so sorry for anything I might have done.
;I'm so sorry - Brian McKnight

ah frick,
lily.

oh.my.god.

had my road run today. one word: MATI.
i was the 15th to arrive. gila lambat :'(
and after that, i and ilie got rlly hyper and started going all WOOOO when prize giving was being conducted.
and CEMARA WON FOIRST :D
woot woot. ngehehehehhehhe.

after that, i went home to dewi's place.
lepaked fer a while and then Vampire<3 called. talked for an hour and a half :)
mandi. then, dewi and i went to ashraf's place.
met his sibling. his sister is so hyper plus comel.
and his brother, amran, .. ohmygod la. SEXY TO THE CORE.
heheh :p

played badminton, played guitar, talked, went to the worm house and played choi tai ti.
got back home at 7:20-ish. mandi. went ikano. makan. took our iron from harvey norman. got back. chatted in between.

today was extremely tiring

loves!
lilyalyssa :)

ah crud.

shieettt, tomorrow is road run. mati la. yes, i'm so gonna die.

die die die.
if not, i'd just faint. run, faint, die. *sighhh*

but at least i'd have my music with me :))
i'd be texting amir too. hahaha, retarded neighbour is forcing me to text him. nasib i love you, A ;)

and oh, had my very first hug with mat salleh boy just now at school.
but i still vote D as my best hugger <3

anddd i may be going to dewi's place tmrw after road run to go to ashraf's place and jam :p
(MACAM LA TERER SANGATTTT -.-')

so far, so good.

arent i just friggin cool?
lilyalyssa, the vain.

oh shiatsu.

okay so, guess what i just found out?
cross country is this saturday! hahhaha, seriously. i thought it was in another 2 weeks -__-'
so, mati la. if i do lose, SORRY MIKUN! or however you spell her name.

i wanted to post about tania's surprise party but so effin lazy.
esok esok je la.

AND FARIEDA'S BIRTHDAY IS THIS THURSDAY!
apa nak buat fer her present nii?
gah.

saya akan mati sabtu ini kerana merentas desa.

loves,
lililililily!

stop, drop, die.

i am trying to get over you.
so stop whatever you're doing.

i love you but i dont wanna be with you.
i love you but i dont want to.

love it or hate it.

*speechless*,
lily.

James Lee Freer

this mat saleh boy who isnt fluent in bahasa melayu makes it so fun fer me to annoy him :)
firstly, james, gimati means Go Die. hohohoho.

okaykay.
so, to all you people who's very confused why i'm blogging about this boy is because we've become close friends. seriously, this guy can give you amazing love advice. anyone need his numbah? ;)

as you all know, this post is dedicated to my Jamesy fer being amazingly awethumb <3
i dont know why we didnt even spoke a word to each other last year. dude, you're becoming my bff already!

and his sister is actually pretty cool (once she cools down). (sorry to say jamesy but) WE ARE SO BONDING! :D

so, this was just to update you all that i've got a new friend :)

loves you, J.

i'msooverbeinglovesick,
lilyfrigginalyssa.

:'(

i dont know what love is anymore
:'(

when everything is bottled up inside,
cry with me.

boys boys boys

can someone just take away the feeling 'Love' from my feelings box?
boys are all the same and i just realized that. i've been immature and stupid. but not anymore, bastard.

you told me you were there to catch me.
when i started to fall for you, you throw a bomb at my face stating you're not there anymore to catch me.
and when i fell face-first on the ground, you just told me how much you adore my looks?

asshole, you just told me you had feelings for me then you say you only "adore" my looks?
i honestly thought you'd be different. the way you talked about my ex's. like you're so much better than them. turns out your the same.

girls, there's no such thing as true love unless your one of the 1 in a million thousand to get a rlly nice, honest guy.

hurttoomanytimes,
shiatsu.

so i've been told

i have made an ay-mah-zing plan!

i will make him hate me.

when he hates me, he won't look at me. when he hates me, we wont smile to each other. when he hates me, we wont talk to eachother. when he hates me, we wont hug anymore. when he hates me, i will stop falling for him.
i have to stop falling for him. i will stop falling for him.

but

when he hates me, i'll miss him smiling at me. when he hates me, i'll miss his comfortable hugs that makes me feel safe. when he hates me, i'll miss how our eyes accidently meet. when he hates me, i'll miss the constant "Hey". when he hates me, i'll cry.
i'd feel like crap and cry. i'd regret and cry.
but i musn't feel like crap nor regret nor cry.
i must stop loving him. and be strong about it.

but will letting him go worth the tears?

shiatsu,
lovesickLILY.

bah-bih.

my shoulders hurt.
my back hurts.
my nose is blocked.
i am in fucking pain.

went to the hospital. got medicine. and now am rlly cranky.
i want 2 slices of chocolate indulgence :'(
or maybe 3.

p-a-i-n. what does it spell?
lily.