Inner strength

I am afraid. Terrified, even, for the future. I messed up not long ago and it's taken its toll on me. I try to pretend it never happened but you cannot deny the past. It will be with you for eternity.

Mom wants to send me away. Away from all the love I get from my friends and him. To strangers land. Kolej Yayasan Saad at Melaka to be exact. Boo, cant we both just go somewhere away from all these troubles and not have all these worries in our heads when we try to meet in secrecy? Forbidden love is what we have. I seek forgiveness and redemption from everyone around me.

I have not been a very good person lately. I thrive for change and I've seen myself fail. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up.

Dear parents,

Please give me a chance. Please give him a chance. Please give us a chance.
Let me do you proud.

I love you, you, you, you, you, and especially you.

Somebody save me.

I am so ashamed of myself. I am untrustworthy. And I feel so stupid because my wrist is red. I need help. My head is messed up. A new habit is rising and its not a good habit. Not one bit.

I feel suicidal.