Dear sayang,
It's going to be very difficult letting you go. I've never shivered in fear before and sayang, I'm scared and I dont know who to turn to. I've never felt this scared and fragile ever in my life. I've never felt my lips quiver so much while I sob. I've never seen my fingers shaking so fast. I've never cried this much. Ever.
But the things you say about you not having time for me, about you hurting me, about us being together at the wrong time, thats all crazy. I know it. But sayang, why must you even THINK that way? Let alone be so sure about it?
After our short 4 months together, I've spent my time with you filled with joy, love and passion. You really are one of a kind.
But I can never change your mind.
If I had the power to just make you think a little bit more positive or the ability to fly so I'd come flying everyday, I'd do just that. But I dont.
Maybe if I needed you more. Maybe if I was a bit more needy. Maybe if I called you more. Maybe if I texted you more. Maybe if I did something different along the way, things would be different now and we could still be. But we're not.
And sayang, I've never felt this afraid.
I dont care that you dont get to see me everyday. I cherish every single second I'm with you. And that makes our time together so much more special. I shouldve told you that. I shouldve told you how much I enjoy our time together. I should have. But I didnt.
I dont care we dont get to communicate that often. I understand. You need to study. And I need to do mine. Like I told you, sayang, we both lead two different lives. But I just love the way our lives just clash in between while we're breathing.
I'm going to miss the way you hold my hand. How your shoulder is just the right height for my head to lean on. When you wear that cologne I love to sniff so much (you know how much I love the smell, sayang). Your stupid jokes. Your laugh. Your smile. Your eyes. Your lips...
Ohmygod, just thinking about you makes me crazy. And just imagine how my heart leaps when you're near. Just imagine that.
But what I'm going to miss the most is how you make me feel so safe. Call me cliche or whatever, but I really do.
Funny.
This life.
When things are going great, when you're so in love, when you're high up, life just punches you back to earth.
Life just hurts you.
But maybe thats why I met you, sayang. To actually know and feel love. To be in love. To be loved. To be so high up in the sky.
We had so many plans, kan sayang? Haha. The things we'd do. The places we'd go.
Memories do have a kick.
It tingles in the stomach, tears in the eyes, curl at the lips.
:')
1437. 7.
You'll always be my Edward, my rectum, my retard, my asshole, the girl in the relationship and the first to make me fall so hard. And thats no joke.
Sayang, .. Daniel, I'm glad you were a huge role in my fairytale. You taught me how to love, cherish, laugh and trust. I'm just upset you weren't the prince charming, I guess.
You never did left my mind. And I think I'd like it if you'd stay there.
When I'm ready, I'll come see you as a friend.
I promise I wont change much.
But boy, you changed me. To a better me.
And for that, I thank you.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for making me feel safe. Thank you for making me laugh and forget the bad. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for being in my life.
But can I be a little selfish and ask for you to just say those three little words with eight letters to me one more time?
I love you
It's going to be very difficult letting you go. I've never shivered in fear before and sayang, I'm scared and I dont know who to turn to. I've never felt this scared and fragile ever in my life. I've never felt my lips quiver so much while I sob. I've never seen my fingers shaking so fast. I've never cried this much. Ever.
But the things you say about you not having time for me, about you hurting me, about us being together at the wrong time, thats all crazy. I know it. But sayang, why must you even THINK that way? Let alone be so sure about it?
After our short 4 months together, I've spent my time with you filled with joy, love and passion. You really are one of a kind.
But I can never change your mind.
If I had the power to just make you think a little bit more positive or the ability to fly so I'd come flying everyday, I'd do just that. But I dont.
Maybe if I needed you more. Maybe if I was a bit more needy. Maybe if I called you more. Maybe if I texted you more. Maybe if I did something different along the way, things would be different now and we could still be. But we're not.
And sayang, I've never felt this afraid.
I dont care that you dont get to see me everyday. I cherish every single second I'm with you. And that makes our time together so much more special. I shouldve told you that. I shouldve told you how much I enjoy our time together. I should have. But I didnt.
I dont care we dont get to communicate that often. I understand. You need to study. And I need to do mine. Like I told you, sayang, we both lead two different lives. But I just love the way our lives just clash in between while we're breathing.
I'm going to miss the way you hold my hand. How your shoulder is just the right height for my head to lean on. When you wear that cologne I love to sniff so much (you know how much I love the smell, sayang). Your stupid jokes. Your laugh. Your smile. Your eyes. Your lips...
Ohmygod, just thinking about you makes me crazy. And just imagine how my heart leaps when you're near. Just imagine that.
But what I'm going to miss the most is how you make me feel so safe. Call me cliche or whatever, but I really do.
Funny.
This life.
When things are going great, when you're so in love, when you're high up, life just punches you back to earth.
Life just hurts you.
But maybe thats why I met you, sayang. To actually know and feel love. To be in love. To be loved. To be so high up in the sky.
We had so many plans, kan sayang? Haha. The things we'd do. The places we'd go.
Memories do have a kick.
It tingles in the stomach, tears in the eyes, curl at the lips.
:')
1437. 7.
You'll always be my Edward, my rectum, my retard, my asshole, the girl in the relationship and the first to make me fall so hard. And thats no joke.
Sayang, .. Daniel, I'm glad you were a huge role in my fairytale. You taught me how to love, cherish, laugh and trust. I'm just upset you weren't the prince charming, I guess.
You never did left my mind. And I think I'd like it if you'd stay there.
When I'm ready, I'll come see you as a friend.
I promise I wont change much.
But boy, you changed me. To a better me.
And for that, I thank you.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for making me feel safe. Thank you for making me laugh and forget the bad. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for being in my life.
But can I be a little selfish and ask for you to just say those three little words with eight letters to me one more time?
I love you
what a way to do my 100th post huh?,
alyssa.
alyssa.
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