Beautiful people.

So I'm sure some of you out there are going "OHMYGOD, LILY?! WHERE THE FLYING FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Well, my laptop went psycho and it wont on. Now, I can only go online at night when my brothers not around. Cause I'm using his laptop. -____- So sad, I know. Can die.

Okay, malas to type more.
I miss you. Gila. Tahap babi. Blegh.

lies.

Anak babi

I dont know what you want from me anymore.
First, you were so nice to me like how we used to. Then, you said you appreciated her amount of love that she gave you. Like somehow, I dont give enough. Or maybe I dont show enough. So, when I gave you just one teeny link. You start going all defensive.

Yes, I understand. You dont know what to do now.
But what happened to thinking about finishing high school and magically meet me and do wonderful things that we wanted to happen? Why must you give up so easily?
Why is it SO easy for you to leave me and SO fucking difficult to leave her?!

Fuck la, seriously.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I DO deserve better. But you were my first love. I fell too hard for you. And that was my mistake. But I thought we could have been. We felt so right.
And now, my thoughts and feelings are stuck between letting you go and wait for you.
You mess me up.

Right now, death sounds real good.
Lucky for you, I have harry potter to look forward to later.
Maybe death comes tomorrow.

babi.

AND FUCK, I'M CRYING!
Fuck this. Seriously. :'/

So uh, yeah.

Sooo ... She followed me on tumblr which I thought was pretty unnecessary. But I followed her back anyways. Which was also pretty unnecessary too but what the heck.
I'm nice.

Most probably too nice.

ANOTHER ONE!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Another girl did a post about me! But this time, its a bitch!
lololololololololol >:P

I LOVE YOU, FARAH AINA BINTI JEFFRY!
we shall celebrate soon for my victory of not giving a fuck about that manwhore.
\m/

only girl in the world.

MEHEHEHEHEHEHE
Seriously, this boy is making me getting butterflies.
I'm pretty sure I smile without realizing it.

YTRZTEDXFCGVGHXF!
I'm so happy. :3

your girl.

I wonder who's he playing now like how he played us all.

that girl.

So, she wrote a post for me. And I have to say, it was pretty touching.

I am currently speechless. But somehow, I just have to say thank you to her. Its like, after reading what she wrote, I just felt like most of my feelings towards him just went away. And I dont mind that she's now with him. I just dont feel like she stole anything from me.
But she brought out the best of me.
My will to forgive and love.

So I thank you.
For bringing out an even more optimistic lily.

Maybe the rainbow isn't so far away after all.

When a door closes,
another opens.
All you have to do is embrace.

monday blues turned colourful.

you will not break me.

Gedik once again.

I think I like you.
HAHAHA, ohmygod. Sounds so familiar!

We've been friends for over a year now.
And I'm starting to grow on you.
Especially now.

I wanna tell you how I feel but I think its too early. I'll wait.
But heck it, even if you dont like me back, I dont think I'd really give a damn.
Youre already my bestfriend!

But if we were given the chance, will you be mine?
:)

hereitgoesagain.

A day well spent.

Went Gopeng, Perak at 7:30am with Dania and Adam tagging along. Didnt wanna take the bus so my whole family (minus abang, of course) sent us.
Went there for a river rafting. So effin fun k?! Dania keeps telling me that we should do another one just for Junior Boards and the EDC. I GEDDIT. We will okay? :)

Reached home by 7pm and had to get ready for dinner at kualalala lumpur with the cousins.
Left home at 7:30-ish. Ate seafood. And went karaoke til 12am.
So. Fucking. Tired.

Its 2am.
I'm tired. I miss you. And tired.
I deserve much better than you.
I deserve much better than you.
I deserve much better than you.
I deserve only you.
Blegh. You make me suck.

Time for me to get a fling.
And I think I know just the right person.
OHMYGOD NO. I WILL NOT USE ANYONE.
YOU, READING THIS, IF I EVER PLAY WITH ANYONE, PLEASE SLAP ME SO HARD, I PASS OUT!
Thank you. Okay. Kay. Phew.

" I told myself I won't miss you but I remembered what it feels like beside you. "
Hinder - Better than me.

*sigh.*

Someone,
help me.

habits die hard.

Now I'm back to my same old routine.

Where I cry every night.
Even when I had a fun day out.
Even when I just watched a funny movie.
Even when I felt so happy.

I guess its when I realize that there wont be any late night calls where I would talk about my fun day out.
About the funny movie.
About my happiness.

A friend says I should get over him. Sure.
Another says I should get a new boyfriend. Sure.
Just give me the manual book and I'll just shut down my feelings and follow the book.

Sometimes, pretense is all I do. Cause its so much easier to do then explain all these thoughts, feelings and tears. Sometimes, I just feel so suicidal.
This sucks.

You suck.

remember,
the morning of the 3rd of november.

It hurts for me to know.
1437.

Ohmygod.

I cant believe he remembers.
Even I forgot.
He remembers.
He. Remembers.

Ho shit.