bouncing spring

spring,
blooms gracefully as a flower,
yet this,
shoots up in the sky and bursts into colours,
showering the earth with petals and flowers.

once lost in the dark, cold, and empty,
you shone like the Sun so indefinitely,
you reminded me of the beach,
again, a familiarity finally at reach.

just take a step closer,
push the winter, the snow that comes with, the ice cold,
and this,

is all I needed,
a transition, some recognition,
I don't know about you but I need some lovin',
forgive me for sayin',
but you

you

what is it about you?
you take my breath away in just a day,
I grow curious of you til I ache,
this is too sudden, my heart just can't take,
It's grinning and jumping,
I just can't help myself,
I just... wanna know you better,
wanna soak in your cologne you sprayed on your collar,
wanna know your favourite colour, why your stare got me starting to wonder
why I'm feeling this way?
why this cray? I mean, shit. Like. I can't even be poetic about this feeling. The confusion it's bringing.
It just boggles me,
puts my thoughts into twists,
the way your tongue would twist,
when it's trying to resist,
the millions and trillions,
kisses.
I want, to recite Sheena's love poem to you,
and hope it gets the message across to you, and straight into you,
and really, I hope you do, understand that I somehow, suddenly, truly, madly, deeply, do.


I guess, if I'm lucky, just please:
http://gawdeepah.blogspot.my/2013/09/high-school-love-poem.html


Just know that,
I am so in love with the thought of you,
that I'm hoping that when I do get to know the real you,
I'd finally be able to bloom,
among the flowers and fly to the moon (((((((((((((((((cuz 420 blaze it faggott!!!!!!!)))))))))))))))))))))))))

a cycle

I am by the beach,

Soaking in the sunlight, beaming bright as can be,

The warm sand tickles my feet,

Leaving imprints or clinging on me,

And as much as I shake, it won't get off of me, 

Get off of me, 

The sea swallows me and rids me of thee,

But I gasp for air, and that's when I realise 

I'm in despair.

I am on the ocean floor,

Dark, cold, and empty,

These feelings consume me,

Eating me up inside and demanding a reason why, 

Frustration builds, exhaustion nears,

I can't fucking stand this saltiness,

seeping in through the corners of my lips,

So I wait,

I wait until I fall into abyss,

So I no longer have to feel like this.

Sweet

I'm still in a state where I don't know if I wanna be in this reality any longer.
So I did what I did with my dreams: I took a deep breath and braced myself. But in this case, I didn't wanna say goodbye (though I had many thoughts of doing just that). I wanted to be honest with my reality and be a happier other half. So I stood up to my reality and talked to it, being as honest as I could.

And I'm so so so sooooo glad you understand where I'm getting at. I'm so happy I approached you this way because then we can truly try our best to make this reality feel like a dream.

I am so happy I puffed up my chest and faced my problems to both you and my dreamy man.
I finally found my inner peace and that's just to not bottle up my feelings and be optimistic that everything will work out because I believe that the big man up there planned it out perfectly for me.

Alhamdulillah :)

Bitter

What a week it's been.
I have been in a sleepless dream that I have subconsciously fallen into. You filled the pieces that reality was missing, so perfectly and so suddenly. You were so delightful and a breath of fresh air that I terribly needed. I almost couldn't believe I had this in my grasp. I almost couldn't believe I found you.

But I also had reality.
And I knew I couldn't have the both of you.

But I insistingly stayed and just a week of your dreamy touch, I am hooked. Reality now seems so dull and boring, I didn't want to go back to it. I just wanted to swim in your endless conversations that seem to flow ever so smoothly. I just wanted you and I was so ready to commit but fuck-

Even you had your own reality. Well, my mistake to think you didn't.
At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I took a step back, took a deep breath and braced myself to say goodbye to the best dream of my 18+ year life. How I wish you would've drugged me with your words and sedate me back into the dream but we both couldn't stay asleep for any longer. Our realities needed us and we were both aware of this.
With that said, the only thing left is:

Thank you for the week, my dreamy man, but it's time for me to go back to my real man.
I'll miss you.