I'm still in a state where I don't know if I wanna be in this reality any longer.
So I did what I did with my dreams: I took a deep breath and braced myself. But in this case, I didn't wanna say goodbye (though I had many thoughts of doing just that). I wanted to be honest with my reality and be a happier other half. So I stood up to my reality and talked to it, being as honest as I could.
And I'm so so so sooooo glad you understand where I'm getting at. I'm so happy I approached you this way because then we can truly try our best to make this reality feel like a dream.
I am so happy I puffed up my chest and faced my problems to both you and my dreamy man.
I finally found my inner peace and that's just to not bottle up my feelings and be optimistic that everything will work out because I believe that the big man up there planned it out perfectly for me.
Alhamdulillah :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Bitter
What a week it's been.
I have been in a sleepless dream that I have subconsciously fallen into. You filled the pieces that reality was missing, so perfectly and so suddenly. You were so delightful and a breath of fresh air that I terribly needed. I almost couldn't believe I had this in my grasp. I almost couldn't believe I found you.
But I also had reality.
And I knew I couldn't have the both of you.
But I insistingly stayed and just a week of your dreamy touch, I am hooked. Reality now seems so dull and boring, I didn't want to go back to it. I just wanted to swim in your endless conversations that seem to flow ever so smoothly. I just wanted you and I was so ready to commit but fuck-
Even you had your own reality. Well, my mistake to think you didn't.
At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I took a step back, took a deep breath and braced myself to say goodbye to the best dream of my 18+ year life. How I wish you would've drugged me with your words and sedate me back into the dream but we both couldn't stay asleep for any longer. Our realities needed us and we were both aware of this.
With that said, the only thing left is:
Thank you for the week, my dreamy man, but it's time for me to go back to my real man.
I'll miss you.
I have been in a sleepless dream that I have subconsciously fallen into. You filled the pieces that reality was missing, so perfectly and so suddenly. You were so delightful and a breath of fresh air that I terribly needed. I almost couldn't believe I had this in my grasp. I almost couldn't believe I found you.
But I also had reality.
And I knew I couldn't have the both of you.
But I insistingly stayed and just a week of your dreamy touch, I am hooked. Reality now seems so dull and boring, I didn't want to go back to it. I just wanted to swim in your endless conversations that seem to flow ever so smoothly. I just wanted you and I was so ready to commit but fuck-
Even you had your own reality. Well, my mistake to think you didn't.
At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I took a step back, took a deep breath and braced myself to say goodbye to the best dream of my 18+ year life. How I wish you would've drugged me with your words and sedate me back into the dream but we both couldn't stay asleep for any longer. Our realities needed us and we were both aware of this.
With that said, the only thing left is:
Thank you for the week, my dreamy man, but it's time for me to go back to my real man.
I'll miss you.
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