Negativity has eluded my mind. Clouding my thoughts and blurring what is real. My emotions shattered. Tears drained. I succumb to this poison, sinking deeper into a sea of thoughts. Why? What if? More why's? And more what if's? And what I say is always restricted compared to my thoughts and feelings. I bite my tongue from saying what I really wish to say because I know how you will react to them and thing's will only go downhill.
You might think I'm overreacting and I should trust you (god knows how much I do) and you're sorry. But it is not about trust nor apologies. It's about telling things to each other. I feel like shit because I didn't find out from you but from the social media! And what if it wasn't on the net? Would I know? Were you trying your luck and have this hidden from me? See, this when I start questioning myself. Don't you see?! I didn't bother you because I thought you were with your friends and you reply super late when you're with them and then I come home to this.
I know you love me and if you think of me as often as you say you do, you'd might actually inform me. Because I was actually in your thoughts while you were having dinner or watching the movie or whatever the fuck you were doing in between. Excuse my language. I am frustrated and very much surprised.
I miss you so much and I haven't seen you for too long for my heart to bear.
You don't realize how much I crave for your attention.
And probably this is my one of many sad attempts to catch your attention, even if it means making you angry at me. Whatever it takes to make you notice me again. Even for a short while.
That, is how bad I crave for your attention.
No comments:
Post a Comment